ZuckMyMuskhttps://zuckmymusk.comUnlimited money. Zero ability to log off.Bill Gates Owns 242,000 Acres of Farmland. No, He Does Not Own Lunch.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-farmland-does-not-own-lunch/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-farmland-does-not-own-lunch/Largest private farmland owner in America. Roughly 0.03% of U.S. farmland. Both facts are clickbait.Bill Gates Said Rich Countries Should Eat Synthetic Beef. The Burger Coup Is Behind Schedule.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-synthetic-beef-coup-behind-schedule/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-synthetic-beef-coup-behind-schedule/He backed plant burgers and cultivated chicken. The internet combined them into one glowing cube.Bill Gates Doesn't Own African Agriculture. He Does Have Admin Access.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-african-agriculture-admin-access/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/gates-african-agriculture-admin-access/Through funding and policy partnerships, not a deed. Less cinematic. More consequential.Sam Waited Eight Years for a Tesla Roadster, Asked for His $50K Back, Then Praised the Reveal.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/sam-roadster-deposit-back-on/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/sam-roadster-deposit-back-on/The car can do a barrel roll. The friendship can do one too.HBO Made Succession for Men Who Call Blackmail a Growth Strategy.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/hbo-the-audacity-tech-bro-villain/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/hbo-the-audacity-tech-bro-villain/A fake data CEO leaks his own deal, blackmails his therapist and spies on his wife's boyfriend. Very disruptive.Musk and Bezos Are Vertically Integrating the Galaxy. Because Earth Wasn't Enough.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/musk-bezos-vertically-integrating-galaxy/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/musk-bezos-vertically-integrating-galaxy/Two men with unlimited money found the one market with no ceiling and barely any rules.Nvidia Put $250M Into AI Safety. The Flamethrower Bought a Fire Extinguisher.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/nvidia-buys-ai-safety-fire-extinguisher/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/nvidia-buys-ai-safety-fire-extinguisher/The company selling the chips is funding research into whether the chips are about to grow legs.Meta Named Its Frontier Models ‘Wonder.’ The Branding Department Has Reached AGI.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/meta-wonder-models-branding-reaches-agi/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/meta-wonder-models-branding-reaches-agi/They remember you, focus for you and will eventually act for you. Nothing weird about that.Sam Called Elon a Bully, Then Left the Collaboration Tab Open.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/sam-calls-elon-bully-keeps-collab-open/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/sam-calls-elon-bully-keeps-collab-open/The AI industry’s two least normal ex-coworkers remain available for group projects.Elon Is Furious About the Elon Documentary He Hasn’t Seen. Strong Launch Strategy.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/elon-mad-about-musk-documentary/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/elon-mad-about-musk-documentary/Four hours, an intermission and weeks of free promotion from the subject.Zuck Put the Surveillance Machine in a Tamagotchihttps://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuck-put-surveillance-in-a-tamagotchi/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuck-put-surveillance-in-a-tamagotchi/Muse can handle your email, travel and shopping. It also has a cute little face, so the privacy policy is probably adorable.AI CEOs Built the Monster. Now They Want Credit for Hearing It Breathe.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/ai-ceos-heard-the-monster-breathe/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/ai-ceos-heard-the-monster-breathe/Amodei called for a slowdown. Altman and Musk agreed. Zuck said everybody should manage their own apocalypse.Jensen Says There’s a 0% Chance AI Ends the World. Convenient.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/jensen-zero-percent-ai-doom/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/jensen-zero-percent-ai-doom/The man selling every shovel says the gold rush is safe.Zuck Reheated the Meats Meme and Gave the Smoker an AI Agenthttps://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuck-smokin-meats/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuck-smokin-meats/Ten years later, the ribs have Bluetooth and apparently need a workflow.An App Called Zuckoff Warns You When Meta Glasses Are Nearbyhttps://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuckoff-app-spots-meta-glasses/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/zuckoff-app-spots-meta-glasses/Because “please don’t record me with your face computer” apparently needed Bluetooth.AI Made the Anti-AI Ad. Marketing Has Eaten Itself.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/ai-made-an-anti-ai-ad/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/ai-made-an-anti-ai-ad/The machine made its own warning label and everyone still hit publish.Your Breaking Elon Screenshot Is Three Years Oldhttps://zuckmymusk.com/story/the-musky-index/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/the-musky-index/If the timestamp is cropped, assume the bullshit is load-bearing.The Gateskeeping Score: How Much Facebook Uncle Is in This Claim?https://zuckmymusk.com/story/the-gateskeeping-score/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/the-gateskeeping-score/Five gates means Bill controls the weather and punctuation has been abolished.Jensen’s Leather Jacket Is a Macro Indicator Now. Great System.https://zuckmymusk.com/story/jensen-jacket-index/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/jensen-jacket-index/When the economy is vibes, executive outerwear counts as data.Bezos Went to Space Dressed Like a Divorced Sheriffhttps://zuckmymusk.com/story/bezos-space-cowboy/https://zuckmymusk.com/story/bezos-space-cowboy/The rocket looked like that. The hat made it personal.